Why, What, Who?

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM”; and He said, “Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”  Exodus 3:14

The typical response to the latest mass shooting is, “Why?”  That’s certainly a legitimate question, because someone has gone off the path and committed an unspeakable crime which makes no sense to anyone else.  Whether we ever find out what the perpetrator was thinking, or not, there was a definite reason why they did what they did.

For those who lost loved ones, the “Why?” is different, because now it comes down to a question of, “Why was my friend/relative killed?”  The survivor guilt complex of wartime comes into play, “Why him?”  “Why not me?”

Those kinds of questions usually involve God, because we are asking Him, “Why did You allow this to happen?”

I was fortunate in reading an article some 50 years ago, soon after I became a Christian, and before I had to deal with the “Why?” question, personally, that said, “Asking ‘Why, God?’ is not a legitimate question.  The better question is, “God, what are You trying to teach me?”

I processed the deaths of three of our four children that way, some years later, and was able to lay a lot of it at the feet of Romans 8:28, which says, And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

That’s certainly a legitimate verse, and God has certainly taught me a lot of things, over the years, sharing the things I have learned with others who have lost loved ones.  Two things I learned during my most difficult trial were, 1) that God loved my son more than I did, and, 2) that my job was not to try to uphold God, but to let Him uphold me.

Years later, I learned another thing, which is, “What are You trying to teach me?” is not the most important question.

The real question is, “Who?”  Who did I say God was, before the calamity, and Who do I say He is, now?  And, who was I before the incident, and who am I, now?

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Heb 13:8)  And, we can say the same for God the Father, so how did our attitude toward Him change, in light of the untimely death of a friend or relative?

I remember a friend asking me if I had lost my faith, after the death of my second child.  It was only because of God’s grace that I survived that tragedy!  How could I give up that relationship, and have nothing?  I had enough problems with depression!

It was counseling for depression that led me to find out who I was, and I discovered my identity in Christ, instead of trying to find it in my own performance.

Galatians 2:20, a verse I had memorized twenty years before, finally made sense to me, when I learned to die to self, and allow Christ to live His life through me.  “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

So, the next time the “Why?” question comes up, consider the “What?”, but focus on the “Who?”

-Eldon Kibbey